I know for certain that I am NOT alone in this fight for mental wellness.
So to update you, I’ve completely weaned off of my old medication and onto a new one. It seems to be doing quite well. The withdrawal symptoms were definitely there, but no where near as terrible as I’ve experienced before. This chemistry experiment to find my own mental balance is not always a fun one. But the rewards of being closer to me again, make it all worthwhile.
John said he knew it was working when I spontaneously put the folded laundry away! Not my favorite job. I also actually booked an appointment and went and had my hair done (many thanks to my mama for watching the kids!) I tell you its little things like this that can also help boost the mood and confidence. Overall, I’ve just been able to focus more. Get more done. Have more good days.
I’ve still had anxiety, and some very bad days. Treatment does not mean 100% perfect. It’s a process, full of ups and downs, whether taking a good medication (for me) or not.
Last week on May 18, I wrote a post for “Blogging for Mental Health Day” and it really took a lot out of me. I delved back into the memories and emotions surrounding my friend Dina’s recent suicide, and past experiences with other suicides and attempts. It reminded me once again why I started this blog. Why I want to continue. Why fighting the stigma of mental illness and promoting mental health is so important to me.
But posts like that can shoot me into a fast downward spiral. I called John home early that day, curled up in a ball and slept all afternoon. I am unbelievably grateful to have such a loving and supportive husband. But once again I was reminded of how my illness affects my spouse and my kids.
So I keep fighting. I continue to see my psychiatrist. I continue to get out of the house and socialize. I continue to be grateful and happy with all of my many wonderful blessings. Because I’m not unhappy with my life … I’m depressed. And there’s a big difference.
Trust me. You are NOT alone.
P.S. I was honored yesterday to receive an email from Circle of Moms that Motherhood Unadorned has been nominated for a Top 25 Mental Wellness Blog by Moms! Please vote if you think I deserve it, once per day, till 6/15/11. Its so easy! Just click here and then click the “thumbs up!” Thank you SO MUCH for your unending support. <3