I’m just a small town girl…wait no, that is a Journey song. Although I do live in a small town. I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a writer. We have joys and we have struggles. Just like you.
When the medication is not enough to soothe the monster in my head, they will go outside to play.
I stand to the side of my window so they can’t see me, but I can see them.
Eddie goes straight to the club house every time—the red, blue, yellow, and white sturdy plastic warm from the afternoon sun—checking the blue climbing cavities for standing water and grass clippings from the recent mow. The scent comes to me in humid waves which momentarily turns my stomach and I almost shut the window.
But I don’t.
Eddie’s chubby hand slaps the found pools sending droplets onto his fresh shirt. With a grin he declares it, “ew” and flicks the stray blades of grass from his fingers. A blue croc shoves its way into each small basin, and clumsily he pulls himself into the clubhouse.
His shoes echo as he marches around, turning the red captain’s wheel, and “whoo whoo’s” through the telescope. His sticky fingers leave a trace of purple popsicle for a lucky ant or fly.
The pace of the pounding quickens as he sprints over the bridge to the small white table. The round, red stools become projectiles out the windows and down the hot plastic of the blue slide. “Uh oh” he yells with each purposeful heave.
Cort and his shiny new golf club become visible from the side of the house. Eddie sees him too and flings himself down the slide greening his bottom as he lands.
He trots toward his daddy and his scraped knees and the purple ring around his mouth become visible tome.
Cort swoops him up in one movement and puts his mouth to Eddie’s ear whispering something.
I close my eyes I too can smell the sweaty sweet toddler head. The mix of sunblock and grape and peanut butter. The lingering cologne of being close to daddy telling secrets.
A breeze carries the scent of burgers on someone’s grill and I am reminded that it’s close to dinner time.
And suddenly I am sad again as I shut the window and retreat to the bed.