Grief is such an interesting thing. Quite the process, and one taken at it’s own pace and on it’s own path for each of us.
My path has been quite different from each of my friends. We all lost a friend. A close one. A friend with years of history for all of us.
Yet we mourn her in many different ways. Find peace, find strength, find some semblance of normalcy in a broad spectrum of emotions and actions.
This weekend we came together for the first time since her passing. It was bittersweet, but for me, and I believe for the others, mostly sweet. Photos and old letters stirred up SO MANY fun and funny memories for all of us.
Notes passed back and forth during class in high school, silly postcards and chain letters snail mailed to each other during college, all re-read today brought hysterical laughter. (Yes, we’re THAT old. We did NOT have email in college!)
For me it was deeply meaningful to sit and talk with her mother, to have lunch together as a group, and get the chance to hear each others perspectives. To be face to face with those who are truly grieving.
I hadn’t had that chance before, to look into someone’s eyes, who had known her just as long (or longer) and see without a shadow of a doubt that her life to them was important, was meaningful, and full of joyful memories along with the pain.
Some chose to just think of the happy times, and that is SO ok. Like I said, we’re each on our own path.
But together, we stayed up much too late, drank a few too many, choked back more than a few tears, and gave lots of hugs. But most of all …