So I neglected to mention in yesterday’s post that this week is Mental Illness Awareness Week. The blog has been oh-so-full-of-the-happy lately, hasn’t it?
Wow. Crazy how time flies.
Ronin is a beautiful soul. Smart. Affectionate. A surprisingly attentive big brother. Shy. A wonderful friend. Sensitive. Playful. Mischievous. Snuggly. Attached. Anxious. A lover of all games iPad. Silly. A powerful tackle-er. A maker of messes. My favorite boy in the whole wide world.
My due date actually was on October 5th, which also happens to be my brother Ron’s birthday. So we were all kind of hoping. Ron said he knew he’d always have cake on his birthday if Ronin was born on his.
My brother turned 31 the day Ronin was born. Exactly 31 years since a child had been born on my Dad’s side. The first grandchild of my parent’s.
It was about 11pm on October 4th. I was laying in bed reading when my water broke. I have no idea what I was reading but like to believe it was Harry Potter. Oh how I love me some Harry Potter!
I felt this powerful gush of water and screamed “John! My water just broke! Can you bring me a towel?” My mom was also in the house. She had arrived from Florida one week early to try and catch the action.
They both came running. I jumped in the shower and all I could do was laugh. My baby boy was coming!
No one thinks to tell you if your water breaks, that the fluid just keeps on coming. I had no idea. So as I got ready and went to the car, I had a towel between my legs. I just couldn’t stop laughing from the joy and the adrenaline.
We had driven to the hospital several times before for classes and such. In fact, John played hockey right down the street. But with our brains spinning from the excitement, he got off at the wrong exit … of course.
Back on track we arrived. I was checked in and it was discovered that there was meconium in my fluid. I had a panic attack (my first of the night) as the doctors informed me a NICU team would be in the room for his birth.
Flash forward 8 or 9 hours later and I’m still not fully laboring. They pull out the pitocin, followed by the epidural. Panic attack #2 as they insert the needle. Yikes!
My husband, my mom and my sister-in-law Rachel (pregnant with our nephew) are in the room with me. I was so happy for the company being 10 or so hours into labor.
I must point out that my brother Ron happens to be in New Orleans this particular weekend for a college reunion. (We both went to Loyola New Orleans) So throughout the night we received a steady stream of drunken calls from The Big Easy with excitement and congratulations from Ron and our college friends.
All in all I felt lots of love and support in my delivery room and from afar.
At approximately 3:30pm on October 5th, about 16.5 hours after my water broke, it’s finally time to push. With the nurse holding one leg, my sister-in-law Rachel holding the other, and my mom and John at my head. I get this party started.
Ronin was sunny side up (head down/face up) so the fear of him inhaling meconium was even greater. All I knew was I wanted to meet my boy and fast.
I pushed with all of my might. 27 minutes later at 3:57pm Rachel screams “A face!” as Ronin’s little face pops out. My mom flew down–camera in hand–to see the action. Yes I have those pictures. Don’t worry I’m not sharing.
He had indeed inhaled meconium.
I watched with joy and sadness as they immediately took him away to the NICU team several feet from my bed. I looked at John and cried “Isn’t he beautiful!?” but saw with fear that his little lungs were struggling to breathe as they suctioned them. His little chest was pumping irregularly.
They got him stable and brought him to me for less than a minute before whisking him away to the NICU. I cried to John “Go with him” and they were gone.
Adrenaline kicked in, as well as my fear and intense hunger. I was shaking uncontrollably. What seemed like an eternity went by and John texted me photos saying Ronin was fine and would be with me soon.
And it’s there he has lived and loved for almost 4 years, with his Mama and Daddy (and baby sister Ellie).
It took us one year, a couple of rounds of Clomid, one IUI, one long-ass uncomfortable pregnancy, a 17-hour labor and a couple hour NICU stay to get him. He is worth every tear, pound, worry, and joy.
I was made to be his Mama. He was made to be my boy.
Happy Birthday My Big Boy Ronin!