Yesterday both my mom and my friend Angel (who I met at last year’s Overnight Walk, see pic) messaged me asking if I was OK. And I am…OK. I guess my last blog post about things I hate about mental illness and my “social media silence” as Angel put it were signs to them.
I can feel a lack of balance with my meds and a kind of mild depression just sitting there in the shadows. My sleep has been interrupted a lot, mostly by the kids, and I’m still annoyingly recovering emotionally from the Overnight Walk 2 weeks ago. I also haven’t been feeling the drive to use some of my go-to help mechanisms such as blogging or posting/reading/commenting in my mental health social media groups.
I have been somewhat social media silent. I just don’t feel the inspiration to be overly social. Its really not as bad as it sounds. I mean I am being social. I did go to the masquerade party for suicide prevention last weekend, and just went to the beach with friends/the kids yesterday. So I am doing things, but I really don’t want to, I suppose is my point. (See #3 in Wednesday Post.)
Instead I’ve been reading (and rereading) a book to escape into another world.
I’m fine. Or at least I know I will be. Possibly another med adjustment on the horizon.
Its just perfectly annoying to feel this way in summer when its bright and shiny and the world is happy. I should be more active. I should want to write. I should want to play with the kids. I should. I should. I should.
I’m going to try to work on that. But mostly I’ll try to let go of the guilt of feeling this way today, and remember that tomorrow can be a better day.
Please excuse the social media silence.