Hi I’m Lara. I’m 35 years old, have a wonderful caring husband, a beautiful 13-month-old daughter, and live in gorgeous Castle Rock, Colorado. I’m blessed to stay at home with my baby girl, while starting my businesses. I’ve also created a mom/baby playgroup in my area, which keeps me sane. I really enjoy the company of amazing women from all over the country who are also enjoying parenthood.
But life hasn’t always been this fun. Infertility, depression, anger and pain are just a few of the many things I’ve going through the last 4 years. Perhaps my experiences will allow me to pass hope and courage on to other women who are struggling in their efforts to get pregnant.
Jeff and I were married in May 2007, and we started trying for a baby right away. But after a year of trying to conceive, I found out that I had blocked fallopian tubes, endometriosis, Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome, fibroids/cysts, and poor egg quality/quantity. After two surgeries, medications, failed inseminations and unhappiness with our first doctor, we found a Specialist that we actually liked. We were certainly still emotionally drained and discouraged, but we were able to get a new found hope when our instincts finally told us we were with the right doctor.
Over the years I became greatly depressed, believing I would never conceive. It was so easy to hide my feelings and anguish, and just go along with my day with a big smile on my face. I was always so happy, talkative and cheerful on the outside, but no one knew how bad I was hurting inside. I wasn’t able to attend friends’ baby showers. I couldn’t handle their happiness, while I was going through so much pain. I would hysterically cry when each person would announce their pregnancy and say “why not me?” Looking at photos of newborns would just make me lose it. I was a perfectly healthy woman for my entire life, until recently, so what was going on with me. We decided to forget about the negative and focus on the positive.
I eventually underwent a 3rd surgery where they removed my left ovary and fibroids in my uterus. The doctor believed that I would get pregnant, despite the negativity of my previous doctor. Two unsuccessful months then followed. We then decided to try for our fifth insemination. Two weeks later, I took a pregnancy test. POSITIVE! Hearing and seeing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time was truly amazing. The Fertility Specialist met with us and said “I have to tell you, it’s a minor miracle that you are pregnant!”
And a true miracle it is! Hearing those words out of doctors mouths that “your chances are minimal without IVF”, “your egg count and quality are horrible”, or “you only have one ovary, your chances have now been cut in half” was disheartening. Believe there is always one good doctor that has faith! Never give up! Our friends and families prayed so hard for us, and I’ve gained faith knowing that our prayers were answered following such difficulty and emotional distress. Winning this prize would be so rewarding after going through so much both emotionally and financially.
Now our little miracle is 13 months and we have been unsuccessfully trying for a second child for 8 months. I still have infertility issues, out of control cycles, abnormal bleeding and pain, among other things. Once again, the sadness and hopelessness has fallen over me. While people tell me, “Just be blessed that you have Kylie”, I want to tell them that they don’t have the slightest clue as to what I’m going through. Knowing that my daughter is such an amazing soul, beautiful, and has the most outstanding personality, why wouldn’t I want to bring more like her into the world? With additional prayers and some luck, hopefully I will conceive again.
My husband and I know we are not alone in the universal epidemic of infertility. We also know too well about the emotional and financial struggles that go along with it. Jeff and I truly empathize and extend our support to those of you in similar situations. Women can’t give up! Men must be nurturing and supportive in every aspect! I also can’t stress enough how important it is to seek out information, the truth of your own fertility issues, and the proper doctor for your needs, personalities and comfort level. You have many choices and don’t have to stick with one doctor when things simply don’t feel right.
Lara, I am so proud of you for having the courage to share your story. You will inspire many with your words. xoxxo
Lara, I also suffer from PCOS. You may already have this book, but one that really changed my life is: The Natural Diet Solution for PCOS & Infertility, by Nancy Dunne.
Best of luck to you on your journey!
Well, I have some sad news to add to my long journey with pregnancy, courage, happiness and now back to depression and hopelessness. I received a call from my doctor this morning…the dreaded phone call, that yes, it is true, I am going through pre-menopause. I knew the day would eventually come, but I was always hoping to have one more child of my own. Now I must move on, get my health and strength back and look forward to either foster care or adoption. There are plenty of babies and children out there that need god homes. And we are going to open ours, with open arms!
Oh Lara! I’m so sorry to hear your news.:( I’m sure it feels like the death of a long held dream, but you are a wonderful mom and I know you will find a way to make your dream of another child come true. Adoption is such a gift to the children who needs homes. I have a few close friends who have adopted in recent years so if you need advice or want to talk to someone who’s been there, please let me know. And call me if you feel like talking my friend. I’m here for you. Much love to you guys. xoxo
Thank you Cristi for being such a wonderful friend! I got word from a 2nd doctor (needed a 2nd opinion), that I am officially going through menopause. I am now on lots of vitamins/supplements and a patch. We will see what the future brings us. We are attending our first adoption informational meeting next week.
Thank you Cristi for being such a wonderful friend! I got word from a 2nd doctor (needed a 2nd opinion), that I am officially going through menopause. I am now on lots of vitamins/supplements and a patch. We will see what the future brings us. We are attending our first adoption informational meeting next week.