I got it in my head that it might be helpful to share my top 3 pieces of advice for new moms. I have a few pregnant friends with whom I could share. Sure! That sounds great. Package up a few tips and hope to help you with my nuggets of wisdom on motherhood.
But then I realized:
#1 My advice may or may not even appeal to you and your future parenting self.
#2 What makes me such an expert? I only have two kids under 4 years.
#3 And THIS my friends IS my best piece of advice. Never take advice on parenting. Use your own inner voice, heart and intellect to judge for yourself. In other words … Do all the research, hear the opinions (notice I said “hear” not “listen” because believe me, you will hear plenty) and trust your heart.
So with all of that said, HERE are my Top 3 Tips for New Moms that you definitely should not “listen” to. Read and think about, perhaps. But do not mindlessly follow.
😉
#1 Breastfeeding — It is such a gift to your child AND you. You might not even know its important to you or how important it will be to you until you’re right in the moment. It is NOT always easy to make it work. Our society puts up many road blocks to successful Breastfeeding, and your baby might be blocking some roads too. But you can do it if all the stars align, there aren’t any medical complications, you work hard, AND you get support. Lactation consultants rock and a Breastfeeding-friendly hospital can take you a long way. But, if it doesn’t work out as you planned, try really really hard to let go of the guilt. You are NOT a bad mom. and the guilt can drive you … Well, lets just jump to number 2.
#2 Educate yourself and your partner about the differences and signs of Baby Blues, postpartum depression (or anxiety, OCD, etc) and postpartum psychosis. Yes, it may seem depressing to think about depression at this happy time. But knowing the signs in advance, could really save you, your partner and your baby a lot of time and trouble. Most importantly educate your partner. He/she will be your eyes and ears on this after birth when you may be too sleep deprived to notice. Here’s a handy doc from the CDC. Postpartum Progress is another really terrific resource with a ton of information.
#3 They say “it takes a village” for a reason. Needing or asking for help does NOT make you a bad mom. And I’m sure your loved ones would jump at the chance to hold that precious little one for half an hour so you can shower. Trying to do it all will deplete you. Your figurative well is only so full. Take care of you too! The way I see it, Happy Mama = Happy Baby.
Ok, so let’s recap. Don’t “listen” to my or anyone else’s advice. Breastfeeding is hard work, but worth it. Teach yourself and your spouse the signs of PPD ahead of time. Don’t try to do it all.
Sounds easy enough.
SO, what 3 pieces of advice would YOU give new moms? (Remember, we’re giving a gift here. They do NOT have it accept it.)
You are SO not alone.
1. If you plan on staying at home: look for local support groups! MOPS is a great one, but there are many others as well! Even a Mothers Day Out program.
2. ALWAYS take extra set of clothes for YOU! And of course some for the children LOL
3. Sleep when they sleep!
I think you are right one with your 3 tips! Deff #3!
1. Babies do everything on their own schedule.
2. Condider yourself lucky when your plans go as planned. Don’t feel guilty when your plans fall through.
3. There will be difficult days. But no matter how hard things get, there’s always someone else who has it worse. And no matter how hard things get, there’s always something or someone to be thankful for
#1. know the risk factors of PPD/A/OCD/psychosis and if you are at risk get a game plan.
#2. know that formula feeding is ok. It doesn’t make you any less of a mother
#3. know that it’s ok to ask for help
All great advice. I would add:
1. Spend more time thinking about what resources you will draw on as a new mom than on reading pregnancy books.
2. Throw out the parenting books. They will probably make you crazy.
3. Ask for help when you need it. I could have put that one down 3 times – it’s that important.
Oh, here’s one… Never say NEVER.. ie: I will NEVER let my child eat MacDonald’s Happy Meals. Oh, yes, you will…as soon as they can say french fry, and you’ve had an exhausting day, you’ll be hauling their booties to the nearest one for a fix 😉 Strike the word NEVER from your vocabulary. It always comes back and bites u in the ass. 😉 Love to have you stop by my post and check it out.
Hi Cristy! Great advice! And I have one..NOW you will understand why people do what they do!