Welcome Story to this week’s edition of “I’m Not a Bad Mom Because…” Don’t know about my weekly series, check it out here. Thank you so much for sharing with us. You are most certainly not a bad mom for taking care of YOU.
I have some very dear friends who are parents of toddlers and small children. They seem like they were born to be SAHMs. At least they were born to be SAHMs on Facebook.
Every day they post updates, often with videos, with the cool things their kids are doing, or the cool things they’ve come up with to do with their kids. Every day, they post something like “Oh I love my little sqidgy every moment of my life. He is my entire world.”
I love my Baby Girl. I am so grateful I’m able to be a SAHM because I really don’t want to miss anything. We are attached. We are so attached. And (with the possible exception of her daddy), she is the greatest love of my life.
But she’s not my world.
For a while, she was. I spent all day every day (and most of the night, if we’re being honest) holding her. I didn’t read anything, in print or online, that didn’t have to do with baby care. I researched activities for babies, and then spent the rest of my waking moments trying to entertain my newborn.
Which was somewhat less successful than I’d hoped.
It’s different now. I still play Peek-a-boo and go to storytime and the park. I still read Goodnight Moon. I still snuggle.
But I also blog. I play games. I read books that are entirely for me. When I’m in my car, I listen to NPR instead of “Here Come the ABC’s.”
And I’m realizing, it doesn’t make me a bad mom. It makes me a better mom. It makes me a complete human being, someone who has things to talk about, who has interests and passions. Someone my daughter can look up to. Someone who doesn’t depend on a tiny precious infant to fulfill all of her emotional and intellectual needs.
And the moms on my Facebook are probably fantastic moms for their children. If that’s who they are, more power to them. In no way do I want to minimize what they do.
But I’m not a bad mom because I’m not like them.
I’m a good mom for finding a way to be me.