They were out at a coffee shop on the way to run errands while their kids were at the grandparents. A man somewhat older approached them and said “Are you two just starting to date?”
“No,” they said. “We’ve been married six years and have two kids.”
The response: “You just have that spark.”
What a fabulous compliment!
I thought, “I bet John and I would have that spark too if we were out without the kids.”
That definitely made me think.
It’s not that kids hurt marriage. Truly it’s not. They can add so much joy and love to the equation. It’s just we tend to lose that focus on each other when the kids appear on the scene.
They demand so much of our time, attention and energy that it becomes difficult to even remember, much less actually give the old attention and time we used to give ourselves, AND our spouse.
But its desperately important, right?
We love the movie The Incredibles at our house. Do you remember the funny little super hero costume designer Edna? She has a fabulous scene that really sums it up for me.
“What ARE you talking about!?! You ARE Elastigirl! … You will SHOW him that you REMEMBER he is Mr Incredible! And you will remind him who YOU are. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!” — Edna Mode, The Incredibles
Are the stress and pressure of life with work, home and kids affecting your relationship? At one point in time, your partner WAS your very own Mr. (or Ms) Incredible. At least I hope that’s why you’re with him or her.
And YOU are pretty damn incredible yourself, even if you don’t feel that way today.
I think its time that we ALL remember who we are as individuals, and who we are together.
I don’t know about you? I not only want someone on the outside to notice the spark, I want John and I to always FEEL that spark too.
It’s there burning just under the surface of routine and responsibility. But truly he is MY Mr. Incredible.
And I am Elastigirl. 😉
Disclosure: This was a post previously published in 2011 but somehow it ended up in my drafts. So I’ve updated it a bit and am reposting because I really think its SO true. And I know I need this reminder now and then. 🙂